Kayley Gallaher | My Life, My Way

Let’s Talk

You may have heard that Bell recently hosted Let’s Talk, an initiative to support mental health awareness. If you don’t already know this about me, mental health awareness is a cause very near and dear to my heart. One, because it is an issue that affects many, many people and two, because it has affected me personally. 

I think I’m ready to talk about it. 

It all started in second year of college. My anxiety was high and I wasn’t myself. For a long time, I blamed it on my surroundings and tried to ignore the deeper affect it was having on my life. After graduation, I was without work and moved home at 22. I was at my first low. I got a job in December 2010 and things were looking up. I moved back to Vancouver and started working at lululemon. In March, unexpected events took place in the workplace and my anxiety and depression were back, well, truth be told they never really left. I was at my lowest point to date. In July, I took a leave from work to try and work on myself. I put myself ahead of my job. Some of the people closest to me didn’t even know that, until right now. I realized then and there how short life is and how important your (real) friends and family truly are. I’m lucky to have the best support system around me everyday. When I told one of my best friends, her response was exactly what I expected. She said, “but you’re one of the happiest people I know.” I’ am a happy person, a very happy person, so explaining that my anxiety and depression were making me feel so low was SO difficult. Suffering from anxiety and depression didn’t mean I wasn’t happy, it just meant that there was this constant dark cloud above my head in my day-to-day life that made living the life I wanted very, very difficult. 

I returned to work at lululemon in August for a few months and decided the job was no longer a good fit for me, both personally and professionally. They were undergoing a restructuring at the time and I figured it was the perfect time to start a new journey. That is the very, very short version of the events that took place to lead me to where I’ am today.

Now, how did my anxiety and depression make me feel? Let me count the ways. There were days I couldn’t get out of bed, physically and emotionally. At my lowest point, the bad days outweighed the good. My anxiety was so bad that I eventually went to talk to someone about it. Admitting you need help at 22 is no easy fete, and I firmly believe it doesn’t get easier with age, but it helped. I’m a very private person, so sharing this experience is not easy, but it’s necessary. Physical activity also became a great outlet for me, getting outside and back into the gym was a huge help mentally and physically. 

I’m in no way healed and I’m completely okay with that. I’m in a positive place right now, in work and in life. I still have my moments and there are still days I wonder why it is so hard to do the simple things. I wake-up every morning and take a pill that helps me, wash my face and make a promise to myself to make the most out of the day I’ am being blessed to live. Most importantly, dealing with my own mental health issue has taught me to stop and remind myself that life is good, it’s really really good, but nobody said it would be easy.

If any of this resonates at all with you, I want you to know that I’m here to listen. If this has taught you anything about mental health, I’ll be happy, but that wasn’t the goal of finally sharing my story. I just wanted to talk about it, because sometimes that is all it takes to make that big dark cloud suddenly appear more clear.